You never know what you have...till it's gone

Things have been so busy since Ross started medical school...I feel like sometimes I need to write a to-do list for my to-do list : ) After seeing my good friend Stephanie start her baby journey blog, I decided to try and keep up with this a little more.

Ross is one week away from officially being halfway done with medical school and all the way done with the classroom portion, which means he starts doing rotations! I'm really proud of everything he has had to endure through this process. It has not been fun to say the least. We have all made sacrifices during the past 2 yrs. Ross has basically sacrificied any type of "normal" life. Sometimes I forget what normal life was before we began this process and I hate that I took for granted the time we had together. You know that saying "you never know what you had till it's gone"...why is it that that is SO true?? I had so many years to really enjoy time with him, little things...just being able to sit down and talk, or go to dinner without him worrying about hurrying home to study. Sometimes it's hard to not feel emotionally disconnected because sometimes it feels like we live two seperate lives...BUT I know it's all apart of the journey! Mckenna has sacrificied so much time with her Daddy...but the moments that are spent together are treasured. She really loves him and while the first year was extremely difficult, Ross has done such a great job in learning to balance studying/time with Mckenna. I just can't believe everything he has faced over the past two years...and yet he has somehow managed to make amazing grades, do research and still look photoshopped with his shirt off.

I feel like over the past two years, Mckenna and I have grown so much closer...a lot of times it's just me and her. I know sometimes it must hurt Ross because he wants to be involved, but he has a goal to achieve and it takes a lot of discipline. Being that Mckenna is only child, her imagination is out of this world!!! I love going in her playroom at the end of the day and seeing the randomness that she has created.

I love how she loves barbies AND dinosaurs...apparently this was barbie being attacked by dinosaurs? Not sure...but I thought it was funny.

Playing in her room with her barbie and ninja turtles in spiderman pj's : )

Sometimes I feel bad that she doesn't have a brother or a sister to play with...but now is not the right time. God may have other plans, but according to me, it is just not the right timing. I'm fortunate to have a job that I am able to support us through medical school and Mckenna is extremely busy with all of her activities. On one hand it makes me sad that we aren't ready to have more at this time in our lives, but then I am so extremely thankful for the one on one time I am able to spend with Mckenna. I love that she has my undivided attention and it works for us. We have so much fun together. Our latest mommy/daughter time is going thrift store hunting. You know you have a thrift store problem when you hear your kid playing barbies and she tells them all "okay, everyone get dressed, we are going to the thrift store"... : ) We have had so much fun going on little treasure hunts there. And honestly, she has had the BEST wardrobe the past year...and half the time it is 2.00 dresses we jazz up at Thrift Town!

Mckenna having a picnic and doing homework outside last week...our latest thrift store find was the vintage wicker picnic basket. She said that pee-wee used one on Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, so she just had to have it. She packed up a lunch and has been doing picnic's on the back porch with her baby dolls : )








We had a crazy jam packed weekend. Ross has been studying a lot and I spent yesterday running Mckenna all over. My dad and Tracey are in San Antonio moving my dad to another place and I keep praying for the day he gets to move back here. There we go...the "you never know what you had till it's gone" saying! Luckily, my dad is still alive and I'm able to talk to him, see him...but I can't belive that just two years ago he lived 5 minutes away and I didn't take advantage of that. Of course I've always been so close with him, but I think now, I'd be over 5 out of the 7 nights out of the week...I miss him so much!

Today I've been so extremely tired and probably a little grouchy. Mckenna was so excited because she told me she had a present for me...she came in the kitchen when I was cooking dinner and said she had saved all of her money and wanted to give it to me. I told her it was her money and to just keep it (it was a mixture of coins from her piggy bank and a couple of dollar bills..haha)...she insisted that she really wanted me to have it so I could buy something nice for myself. She REALLY wanted me to take the money out of the bag. I blew her off a little bit because the chicken was going to burn and I told her sternly to take it back to her room, that I was cooking dinner and that money was disgusting and dirty. Not more than ten minutes later I catch her in her bathroom....

She had crawled up on the sink and was using soap to wash all the money so it would be clean for me...made me feel so bad for being grumpy at her. She is just the sweetest little girl...with the biggest heart. I think Mckenna is the one thing in life that I know now I don't take for granted...sure she drives me crazy some days, but I will never have to look back on these days and wish I had spent more time with her or done this or done that...I won't have to have the "you don't know what you have till it's gone"...because I know what I have& that these moments are fleating- she's growing everyday and every moment is precious...I'm trying to enjoy every minute (well most...I do get tired like today). I am SO thankful God gave me her. I know I'm not the world's best mom and I know I mess up all the time, but I'm so glad that I have this opportunity.

Life right now is getting through day to day...but nonetheless, it's exciting. Somedays are easier than others, but we have the support of so many! #BLESSED